Saturday, December 29, 2012

Dear Santa: Christmas Fallout

Listen up Fat Boy:

Yeah, you got me. I did it all: sat on your lap, wrote you a letter, left you homemade cookies (HOMEMADE!! I don’t even bake!) and even farm fresh milk. Yeah, I sold out. I did it all so my Christmas wishes would come true.

Christmas morning, I ran down my stairs like a kid. I jetted to my laptop, powered it on, and…. What?! No, it couldn’t be! Not even one new review on Santa, you had eight books to choose from and you couldn’t even get me one bloody review? So I started thinking, well, this is because I’m Jewish. Santa’s obviously a racist. Then I calmed myself down and checked the pages of my fellow Indie Authors. No new reviews for them either. Hmmm. Maybe Santa didn’t dislike Jews. Maybe he disliked Indie Authors.

That’s okay, I thought, but not really. My mind was too busy scheming my retaliation. I would win one for Indie Authors. Damn right I would.

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Sunday, December 23, 2012

Dear Santa: My Indie Author Wish List

Dear Santa:

K. S. Brooks with Santa
Photo Credit: EPS, Lowell, MA
Pay no attention to that menorah behind me. It’s nothing more than a fancy candelabra. Honest.

I’ve been a good girl. Hmmm. Can you be more specific as to the parameters you use to base your “naughty or nice” evaluation? I’m a little sketchy on that.

In any case, I’ve worked really hard this year. I managed to turn out 4 published titles, and all the marketing/publicity work that goes with them. That’s why I’ve finally given in to writing you this letter. I’m a little tired at this point. So I’m hoping you will be a stand-up kind of jolly dude and bring me what I want for Hanu…kuh…ristmas. Yeah, I meant Christmas. I noticed I’m developing a stutter…I think it’s all the stress.

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