Author Humor: Hermit Writer’s Life Magazine

Is this you: You really, really want to write that novel, but you can’t manage to do it while working for the man. Your writing is calling you, and you feel tormented. You want to sell everything and move to the middle of nowhere to answer your authorial calling. You’d make the move to writing full-time in a heartbeat if you just knew how.

Well, look no further! Hermit Writer’s Life Magazine has just launched, providing authors just like you with the information needed to make that move. Each monthly issue is packed with tips for the novice hermit-in-training to the old pros who are looking for new and interesting ways to keep things comfy.

Our staff of successful and experienced hermit authors will provide you with the tools you need to:

Want to read more? Of course you do! It's funny! Just go to http://www.indiesunlimited.com/2014/03/22/hermit-writers-life-magazine/

My Birthday Wishlist

A few too many candles...

I may or may not have had a birthday a few weeks ago. I’ll never tell. But if I did have a birthday, I might be inclined to put a wishlist together. Since my life revolves around being a writer – you guessed it – my wishlist is pretty much writerly dominated. Here’s what I want – and what I shall stomp my feet in a fitting tantrum until I get – in no particular order.

Part rant, part satire, part me just being me... If you'd like to read more, you can check out the rest of the article at Indies Unlimited.

Formula for a Bestselling Horror Novel

Of course, yes, I know you’ve been waiting for this. Who hasn’t been? I’ve already shared with you the formula for writing a blockbuster action/adventure bestseller, a knock-em dead romance bestseller, a spine- and pants-tingling romantic thriller, and a Young Adult Paranormal Romance. I know – that’s really benevolent of me, right? Despite that, you thought I left out a market with huge potential: horror. Well please, patience! I can only turn out one of these labor-intensive formulas each month. They’re quite draining, you know.

Speaking of draining, this book’s got it all: vampires, werewolves, zombies – a story destined to be a bestseller once you add your personal touch to it. How can you go wrong?

Follow my advice below, and you’ll be fighting off a legion of dedicated, zombie-like fans!

Formula for a best-selling horror novel:

If you'd like to read the rest of this article, please go here:  http://www.indiesunlimited.com/2013/04/24/formula-for-a-bestselling-horror-novel/

My Opinion on Everything. Sort of.

That’s right: I have an opinion on everything. I’ve shown you what your minimal requirements should be for building your author empire here. Now I’m going to tell you some other things you need to know.

1. Backlist. Having only one published book is NOT going to cut it. You need lots of books. If you expect to sell a million books, having a million titles to sell is a phenomenally good idea. That would mean you’d only have to sell one of each title to reach your goal. Of course, you know you can easily sell one book. So, your goal should be to write a good portion of the books you intend to sell. This is such simple logic. I don’t understand why no one gets this.

2. Loss Leader. A loss leader is something that you don’t mind losing money on because it draws people to your offerings and they purchase your other stuff. It’s like the sacrificial lamb of your backlist. This is something every author should have. I’m very good at loss leaders, so take my word for it. I have 10 of them.

To read the rest of my post, please visit IndiesUnlimited.com.